Maybe you are like me and you have a trait, characteristic, or a habit that works well in one place in your life…but somehow never seems to make it into another. I have that issue. Not all the time…but most of the time at church and when I am in a place to lead people I function with a certain grace…that is usually very patient, kind, thoughtful, and caring. I give people the space they need to fail or succeed.
That grace filled characteristic which often defines me when I lead is something that is often absent in other areas of my life. For me the translation has never been made well into love/romantic/dating relationships. Truthfully I have been terrible at this. Not always but often my grace is short, my patience non existent, and I am unthoughtful.
So why does the translation not happen from one place to the next? I am not sure what it is for you but for me…it’s fear. Fear is an ugly, nasty beast that can devour our potential and crush hearts. I have seen that happen at my own hand.
Here’s the real core of the issue…Fear isn’t a primary emotion. Its a response to something else. Fear for me is the bi-product of something deeper…PAIN. Trials are always pain filled…always. That’s just their nature. But in the midst of the trial for me…the pain can be processed and can become a healthy tool that generates grace, kindness and affection in deeper ways than I could have ever imagined.
Last year I shared something about fear…my fear of marriage. And there was deep clarity in it…I will post it below. Truth is that when we don’t address the fear and live through it to see the pain…we repeat the same cycle. Only He can heal the pain…and He can. I am living proof and someday that story will be the most powerful story I can ever tell…but until them…
My realization:: My pain from the past has created fear in the future and will destroy possibility in the present.
Fear is a cage that hearts, dreams and destiny die in…No Cages…No Fear…Just Faith.
Taking risks crushes fear…time to take some risks.
-Shane
